This sentence is not really a story, it lacks a cronological ordering of events.
7/27/2009khowey says:
I disagree Jouni. In the beginning I went with a solid “Monet” as opposed to “Claude” or “Oscar” – this surname had no ambition for a universal meaning until later in his life, but at this initial moment it stood alone and only important in the sense of being the beginning of something awesome – a brilliant transition that plays out as you continue to read the story. The dash really describes the death of his mother and his living with his aunt. His mother’s abrupt death at the hands of tuberculous (notice the supine position of the dash, representative of his mother on her deathbed) really changes his options and ambitions – for better or worse one cannot say. As I continue, “brilliant” describes the initial outside landscapes that he first encountered, often including sunny skies and and intensifying the part of shadows – changing color brilliance to be more realistic to what he saw in nature, despite being a social and political entity. At this time he was true to the Parisian “artist” title because he followed the rules of the time – the true to life impressionism that represents these times, but not Monet’s signature style. The word “Or” plays the lowest part in Monet’s life. The “or” shows the death of his wife Camille occurring in Argenteuil – notice argente meaning “shiny” and or meaning “gold”. From this tragic moment Monet ascended above or descended below (depending on your point of view) the rules and regulations that defined/limited the artists at the time. Also dependent upon this point of view, the “far-sighted hack” becomes very subjective to the reader. Individuals who believe Monet rose above Parisian artist will see the “far-sighted” as his immortality and importance in the artist field, never ending with the viewer of his art but becoming something more important over time (especially after his death)… Individual’s expressing his later work as a condescension from true ordered art will emphasize the “hack” and degrade his work as something so blurry as not to understand it’s meaning (far-sightedness is not something wanted by anyone in terms of medical eye condition). The question mark not only represents the dual nature of the post “or” section of my story, but it also shows the twists in Monet’s life that were necessary for his achievements. An exclamation point was also considered, but the abrupt end of the story would make my opinion of Monet’s ability more blatant than I believe necessary and a period would make his work and future not meaningful, and ending in a less than honoured flourish which he deserves, hence the question mark.
Sorry buddy, still not convinced. You are right in saying that stories are always ‘inside’ a narrative. But, your rerepresenting the story in your comment does not take away the fact that your six words lack a diacronic dimension.
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